I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said “Thank you.”
I said “Don’t mention it.”
So this girl walks up to another girl and says “Hey, have you heard of the Bechdel Test?”
And the other girl says, “Yeah, my boyfriend was telling me about it the other day!”
in 7th grade i turned to this kid that wouldn’t stop talking during class and i said “eric im going to shove this pencil up your ass” and my teacher called my mom and made me tell her what i said and my mom laughed for like 4 minutes
okay so imagine an au where the potters live. harry dates oliver wood briefly. james hears of this and pulls harry aside. stares him in the eye with a deadly serious face
“he’s a Keeper”
You made an entire AU that would alter almost every facet of that series
For a pun
You’re a beautiful person.
"Are you serious right now, Dad?"
"No, I’m not serious. I’m Dad. He’s Sirius."
*Jesus does the cup song at the Last Supper* You’re going to miss me when I’m gone.